Kingdom Hearts: Holding On
by Saikia
Summary: Songfic Sora recalls back on the dream he had and ponders if he could have predicted Riku's fate because of it. He blames himself on Riku's envy and questions his own feelings about Kairi. Song is All You Wanted by Michelle Branch


(Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. All of their characters belong to Disney and SquareEnix. It didn't take me very long to write this, but it gave me a headache because most of the lines within the paragraphs rhyme as a poem, so don't read over it too quickly and I hope you appreciate the fact that it rhymes and such. Hope you like it!)

* * *

**Holding On**

I sat on the beach one day and stared up at the glaring sky, and quickly became bored, darkness swelled over my eyes. I think I had a dream, for it seemed as such daze, but the more I thought of it, I wondered the truth of this haze. The warm sand so comforting as though a blanket for a slumber, but on this particular afternoon on Destiny's Island in the scorching summer, I thought of my friend, Riku, and then of Kairi and his intentions, and so often, I'd be jealous, but I had no words to mention.

**"I wanted to be like you**

**I wanted everything.."**

I don't know why I envied you so, Riku, I suppose because you were older and seemed strong, and so brave and courageous that Kairi's choice of myself should be wrong. When I dreamt, I dreamt I was floating at sea, lost in the darkness, no one there but me. I've been having these weird thoughts lately, as though things are fake, and the nightmares I cherished, I hoped for her sake that they were, indeed, only nightmares.

I saw Riku standing far off from the shore, his back turned on me, a tension I never felt before. A tsunami rose in the distance and he turned, still to stand, and I shielded my eyes to see him lift up his hand. I wondered if he had something for me, so quickly, I fled, then I couldn't turn back as the wave crashed on my head.

**"So I tried to be like you**

**and I got swept away."**

As I swam and felt drowned as the current pulled me down, you held out your hand, your face in a frown.

**"I didn't know that you were so cold**

**And you needed someone**

**to show you the way.."**

I reached for you and screamed out your name, but the words could not come but in the form of pain and I swallowed salt and sea and I reached further still, and you seemed to back further, but though against your will. I later found out of your envious thoughts of I and for Kairi each night, I knew when you cried, but I didn't know it was because I seemed such a threat, and I wondered the nights when you woke in cold sweat.

**"So I took your hand and we figured out**

**That when the time comes,**

**I'd take you away."**

I got so close within your reach, but when I woke, I knew that my thoughts of leaving all this behind were your intentions, too. We talked to leave it all behind, and promised not to part, but I still couldn't heal the wounds that were concealed deep in his heart. His heart seemed gold, but each has darkness that needed be unfold, our hearts, that is. I wanted to free you of the walls that were built around your heart, but Kairi seemed to interfere, and I unaware from the start.

**"If you want to,**

**I can save you,**

**I can take you away from here.**

**So lonely inside,**

**so busy out there,**

**and all you wanted**

**was somebody who cared."**

I then dreamt that I was by Kairi at the ends of the shore, and then I saw something strange I'd never dreamt before. Above my head and in the skies, a twin of me fell, and in my mind, I was confused, these thoughts that seemed to dwell. I turned to Kairi and found myself falling before her eyes..

**"I'm sinking slowly,**

**so hurry, hold me.."**

You turned to grab my hand so quick, but I caught you by surprise.

**"Your hand is all I have to keep me holding on."**

I was falling endlessly and didn't understand, and I watched above as ripples concealed your outreaching hand.

**"Please can you tell me**

**so I can finally see**

**where you got when you're gone."**

I wanted to speak to her again, but alas, it was too late, and I didn't know when my fall would stop, and I then dreaded my fate.

**"If you want to,**

**I can save you,**

**I can take you away from here.**

**So lonely inside,**

**so busy out there,**

**and all you wanted**

**was somebody who cared."**

I heard the voices on the outside, out of my dream, calling on the shore, but I wanted to see how the dream ended as before. But even in the darkness, I still saw Riku's face, and I felt that I had betrayed him in some way of pure disgrace. I guess I envied he and also wanted what was his as well, and so as I sank endlessly into darkness, my heart, it also fell.

So now, I'm separated from both of them, and feel I'm still at fault, for I couldn't bring the walls crashing down that were built around his heart. But now in darkness, he yearns for light. Me? I yearn for she.

**"Please can you tell me**

**so I can finally see.."**

And I wish to return to her side, and have Riku, too, with me. Who knows tomorrow? No one can say, but the sun still shines afar, and this feeling I have when I think of her..

**"Where you go when you're gone.."**

Cannot die within my heart.


End file.
